My birthday is 5 days after the new year begins, which makes this time of year a natural time for reflection. Some years, I’m keen on reflecting, documenting, and setting goals. Other years, like this one, it feels slightly painful. Thinking too deeply into the matters of the world and the state of the pandemic that we’re in often gives me deep pit in my stomach. It’s the same one that I get when I look at photos from just weeks before the world shut down earlier this year— I’m happy as a clam, border hopping, jumping from one place to another, coming into contact with many, many, people not 2 metres apart. It’s a reminder of how different the world is now, and how different it will be for at least another year or so. Then, I’m reminded of how grateful and thankful I am that I was able to experience all of those things, and that despite everything that’s happening, I have way more blessings to count than curses.
I’m calling 2020 the “Year of Lemons” because something I’ve had to continually remind myself throughout this time is that facing adversity doesn’t have to be a setback. In fact, the best kinds of wins come precisely from facing adversity with a warrior mentality. It stuck with me so much that my first post-lockdown tattoo was a pair of lemons on my arm— when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. The truth is, losing the ability to travel freely has probably been my only “loss”. Sure, it threw a wrench in plans that I was excited about, but instead of endless travels and relocating to another country for work, I got priceless things like quality time with my friends and family, community investment, and a healthier lifestyle.
One of my favorite memories from this year was a food tour I went on in Bogota, Colombia. During one part of the tour, we were trying Chicha de Maiz, a fermented corn drink traditionally made in the indigenous communities of Colombia. The traditional method of drinking this sometimes alcoholic drink is to have it in one bowl that’s passed around a circle of people. Amongst the group of about 10 foreigners I was in, we were all eager to try some, with a Dutch couple enjoying the drink so much they wanted seconds. One gentleman from the UK however, politely refused, on the account of “not wanting to catch a bug”. Some in the group scoffed at him, and an older Canadian gentleman even went as far as saying the British lad was an “irrational germaphobe”. It was maybe 3 weeks later that the U.S announced they were shutting down their borders and the entire world came to a halt. An anecdotal story for the world pre and post COVID.
In short, here are some of my highlights from this year:
Traveling to Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Colombia, and France.
Learned conversational Spanish.
Became a certified scuba diver.
Got a new job that I LOVE.
Did some backcountry camping, felt very Canadian.
Met my significant other and his adorable pup.
Signed a lease on my first “big girl” apartment.
For the long version, see below.
Work, work, work, work, work
The last few years have been filled with achievements in my professional career. I wasn’t worried about this stagnating once I graduated— I was digital nomading with a part time contract at a fast growing startup and several steady freelance clients. When I returned home and was living with my folks, I almost felt overwhelmed continuing to work with what felt like nothing to spend my money on now that I wasn’t traveling. Then, a few months into lockdown, my freelance work began to taper off, I was left in the same boat that many people my age were in: unemployed, scared, and not nearly enough years of work experience under my belt for a decent nest egg.
But, an agency and friend I’ve been freelancing for for some time now continued to send over steady writing assignments, and after a few months, I was asked to join in a project management capacity. What started as a part time contract turned into a 40-hour contract, and, as of January 1, 2021, I’ll be the first actual employee at the agency (bye bye, contracting life!). The sort of commitment that being a project manager has wouldn’t have been possible or appealing to me if I was still on the road, so I’m very glad that I’ve been able to take the time and space to invest in my career and new role.
I probably can’t think of a better role or team for myself. Doing marketing work as an agency is so much different than being in-house on a full marketing team, and frankly, it’s just a lot more fun. The wins are wins and the losses are learnings, the clients are bright and enthusiastic startup founders, and the team is comprised of people like myself (but smarter). They say that if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. As far as I’m concerned, this is the right room for me.
Family first.
Having moved away from my hometown when I was 18 to go to university, time spent at my folks’ place usually didn’t exceed more than 1 week over the last few years. Moving home and living with them for 3 months was a challenge in some ways, but mostly, it was time that my parents and I could just hangout with each other as friends/adults, and less so as superiors making sure I don’t veer off track. Coming from an Asian family, this sort of bonding is difficult to achieve, and I didn’t even think it was in the picture for us. This time home also gave me the opportunity to hangout with my older sister, her dog, and all of the friends I left in my hometown when I moved away. Admittedly, these were bonds and relationships that I put on the backburner when I moved, and even more so when I was traveling.
The Beacon of Good(ish) Health
Before I left for Guatemala earlier this year, I had a pretty steady workout routine. It wasn’t the greatest (I almost strictly lifted with no cardio), but it was also one that I was sad to throw to the wayside when I was traveling. There were a few short weeks while I was on the road that I tried to workout, but eventually gave up. Between physical excursions, all of the walking I was doing, and eating food void of North American hormones and chemicals I was still losing weight.
When gyms were still closed, I started running regularly with the goal of running a half-marathon in mind. I was training 3-4 times a week, but eventually this tapered off when temperatures began to drop and the half-marathon I was training for was moved to a virtual one. Towards Q4 (yes I refer to segments of the year in fiscal quarters), I joined F45, a HIIT gym that has locations worldwide. This means that I’ve been consistently working out 3-4x a week for close to 8 months now, a long streak for me.
The consistent exercise and somewhat consistent diet has done wonders for me both physically and mentally. Early morning runs and workouts are an incredible dopamine boost, which I’m very short on especially during the long, dark Canadian winters.
No longer a woman of the streets?
I’ve been the token single friend of my friend group for as long as I can remember. Relationships are hard for me. They’re even harder when you’re moving around all of the time. Like many people, I have my usual methods of coping with the pain of such loneliness. Solo and spontaneous travel is one of them. I saw a funny headline for a Vice article that was like, “Things we lost in 2020”, and the article preview said “Casual sex, respect for J.K Rowling”. Removing the feasibility for casual relationships due to social distancing measures made my “token single friend” status almost unbearable.
Meeting my boyfriend when I did felt like a massive stroke of luck. Everything after that, however, has been an intentional, concentrated, and frankly, sometimes very challenging decision. He’s not in a field of work that translates to remote work, and with a small age gap, jetting off to wherever and whenever wasn’t a top priority for him. It took me some time to really dig into why jetting off was my gut instinct when things got even slightly difficult, or I felt uninspired by my surroundings. Escapism is problematic, and that (among other things) was a primary driver of my lifestyle pre-COVID and pre-boyfriend.
I also learned that “getting over” a past partner and moving on is only half of the battle. The other half is unlearning problematic behaviours and traumas as you try to pursue something new. My manager asked me what I’ve been doing and got into now that I can’t travel, and I said, “I got into a relationship…” after some laughs, I explained that outside of working hours, I’m now just investing my time in hanging out with my partner, learning about our relationship, and of course, tending to his dog. It’s all been a new learning experience for me that I’m welcoming with open arms.
Looking into 2021
Going into 2021 and my 24th year of life, I can’t help but be proud of what I’ve seen and done. I’m equally excited to see what’s next, and while I’m not receptive to big, lofty goals, I think that defining my priorities and building off of them is more productive.
Stop being sad about not traveling. As the kids say, “it is what it is”. Travel is feasible right now, but if I’m siding with science and/or prioritizing continuing to create a home with my partner, it’s just not a priority. This means that looking at photos from my trips should instill a feeling of gratefulness, not sadness. The mulling and emotions aren’t productive.
I want to keep working and I want to get like, really good at my job. I think I should get a pat on the back for my progress so far, but beyond that, I want to be overachieving and be the best manager that I can be. A friend of mine who started working at the agency taught me the term “servant leadership”, or “quiet leadership”, which is her management style, and the opposite from mine. This reminded me that I’m not only good at setting the tone, but that it’s naturally something I enjoy.
Keep up with working out. I’m at a point where I’m generally happy with how I look, and I don’t want to reward myself for hitting an arbitrary number on the scale. Nothing bad can come from keeping at it.
Invest in the community and give back. Now that I’m settled in one place for a bit, I want to take the time to support the local community and participate in it. There are several community gardens that are near my apartment, and since I love growing plants, I definitely want to invest in a plot in one of them. Volunteering in person is currently really difficult, so I’m working a monthly “charity” budget into my planning to give back to local organizations. If you’re in Kitchener-Waterloo, let me know which are your favorites!
Get my drivers license. It’s not that I don’t know how to drive, it’s that my license expired before I moved to San Francisco last year and I didn’t get around to renewing it because I was traveling and living in a college town with no car. I need to re-take the exam because of the time that’s lapsed… not fun. Also not fun: a boyfriend that doubles as an Uber, public transit in the winter, walking to the gym at 6:45 AM in complete darkness.
As with everything I encounter, I’m cautiously excited going into another year of life. I hope that everyone is taking a moment to count their lemons and lemonade this year as well, and would love to hear from your experiences, reflections, and goals for next year if you’re willing to share.